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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Funny Quotes Collection - 2012 - 2013

Funny Quotes Collection  - 2012 - 2013

Here is the collection of fun quotes. Laughing has been shown to lead to reductions in stress hormones. Laughter also boosts the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T-cells which leads to a stronger immune system. Lets have fun and strong immune system in a natural way!
Respect old people, they graduated high school and college without Google or Wikipedia.
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Since birth, I was told – “You have to excel in life”. My job has ensured that I spend 80% of my life on MS Excel.
Be happy in front of people who don’t like you, it KILLS them.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
We live in a generation where deleting history is much more important than creating it.
When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty and when a woman becomes naughty she becomes rich!
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
“Love is so beautiful wonderful and amazing. It is best thing in the world…. until it happens to your daughter.”
When a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most, and when a man does that..a slide show begins!
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others!
Where there is a wheel, there is a way!
Sentence written on the T shirt of a girl walking on side of the road– “You are not looking at the road right now Be Careful!”
Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own!
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. This is called theory of relativity.”
Even my child too has started to walk without my support but my wife still feels the need tohold my hand while walking!
“When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.”
Life would be much easier if I can mark people as Spam!
A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot become a software!
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason… there’s a reason!
Only kids are excited about 11.11.11 or 12.12.12. For me nothing can be more interesting then 36:24:36
When someone tries to impress you, it means they are already impressed by you!
Height of attitude: I am jealous of my parents. because I will never have a kid as smart as theirs!
If you treat someone like a celebrity, don’t be surprised if they treat you like a fan!
I don’t have time to hate people who hate me.. Because, I’m too busy in loving people who love me!
Steve Jobs has reached the gates of Heaven. The Apsaras will now be called iTems.
Money is not every thing in life. There is Mastercard and Visa also!
Every man needs a beautiful wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting wife and cooperative wife..but its sad that law allows only one wife.
Never think that your girlfriend has sent you a sweet and romantic message. Always think about who has sent her such a romantic message.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the moment it begins to rain.
Visitors are always pleasure. Some when they arrive and others when they leave.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Who says nothing is impossible? I have been doing nothing for years.
Twine Engine Aircraft: When one engine fails the other one takes it to the crash site!
There are more and more things which are more important than money. But we need money to buy them.
All are happy in one way that everyone is unhappy in different ways.
To avoid heart attacks give away your heart to someone you dislike.
I like men who have a future and woman who have a past.
What do you call a group of people where two of them are thinking of sex and all the others are thinking of food? “A wedding.”
The most irritating moment, when you name a file “ghjkl” and your computer says the filename “ghjkl” already exists!
Thousand Words of Teacher Does Not Hurt.. But the silence of a friend in the examination hall brings tears into the eyes!
When girls kiss and hug each other… It’s Sister love… When guys do it…It’s GAY!
Its easy to find a handsome boy without a girlfriend but its difficult to find a beautiful girl without a boyfriend.
First bench students solve any problems but last bench students can face any problems!”
“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”
“I only take a drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.”
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